What My Eating Disorder Gave Me

Eating disorders can be glorified in this day and age and it’s frustrating beyond belief. It never gave me joy or satisfaction. It never gave me constant comfort or confidence. Instead it stole from me. It stole my teenage years that could’ve been filled with fun memories of friends and family but instead it left me with memories of restricting my food and hours spent in the gym running with no energy. It took away my confidence and the person everyone knew me to be. It took away my ability to see the world clearly and instead left a huge gap between me and everyone and everything that I loved. It took away from relationships that I could’ve put effort into if I wasn’t so wrapped up in my disorder. It took away dance as I became too weak to continue. It took away friends as I never went out or wanted to be seen by anyone. It stole my life, it took away everything. And what did it give me? Health conditions that will never go away, extreme fatigue, weakness, depression, anxiety, rigidity, insecurities, strained relationships, sleepless nights, painful joints, coldness to the bone, a fear of food, a fear of being seen, and so many other things that I could go on for quite a while. My eating disorder gave me plenty but it never gave the safety I was seeking, instead it stole that from me and has left me drowning and lost. This is why I’ve chosen to go back to treatment on my terms. As I embark off to Denver Colorado, I want to share my story and share my experience. Eating disorders don’t give, they take till there’s nothing left. They are terrifying and life threatening. If you are suffering, I beg you to reach out and get the help you deserve because it’s never too late to choose recovery.